“Love lifts us up to our true nature, and breathes courage into us to soar high above our fears”. MM
I’ve had a raging love affair with fear all my life, but have simultaneously blamed it for the somewhat flaccid results I have achieved in many areas of my life. The old ‘what if I fail, no actually what if I succeed’ narrative succinctly expresses the ubiquitousness, and frankly, the devastation of fear.
The truth is, fear is impersonal, and does not need me to justify it. Yet I do, and give it inordinate power to sway my thinking and actions, or more precisely, inaction. Of course I realise that by giving fear all this power, I inadvertently welcome it into the space of me, and am feeding it my dreams, my passion, my life.
I am left empty, a shell with no life, devoid of prana. I am arrested in place, locked behind a wall of fear, fearing my dreams, desires, myself, but hungry for my dreams, desires. Hungry for the experience of me.
Fear on the other hand doesn’t care where it gets its nourishment- it casually, and voraciously sucks all of me out of me, without concern for its host. It takes my life, and nurtures itself into insurmountable proportions.
And I am allowing this.
I need to know why I have been so attracted to fear.
What is it in me that pulls me to love fear so much?
What am I afraid of?
A Course in Miracles reminds us that the only two possible emotions are Love and fear.
Well then…it is time.
I’m sorry fear but I have to break up with you. Your love does not give life. Your love is the strangling kind, and I’ve had enough. I cannot love you anymore.
I am committing to seeking the roots of fear in me, and whilst I search for the answer, let me open up to Love’s truth and guidance.
I ask Love to lift me up to the truth of Who I Really Am, and give myself permission to breathe in her courage to help me soar high above fear.
Let me rise in love and not crumble in fear.
Let me recognise me when I meet me in Love.